Author Topic: Tinder for Orangutans  (Read 1029 times)

Code Refugee

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Tinder for Orangutans
« on: February 01, 2017, 06:26:49 AM »
So there's a repository of available breeding males on the international orangutan zoo breeding network. It includes videos of the males. Females often don't like the males they get so now they show the videos to the females and try to gauge their reactions. Problem though is the tablets are completely destroyed by the orangutans within seconds. So the zoo is now saying they need an "orangutan proof tablet" so that orangutans can browse "tinder for orangutans".

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/animalia/wp/2017/01/31/an-orangutan-will-have-a-chance-to-find-her-mate-through-tinder/

Now there's a product opportunity of sorts. But honestly, how many of these things could you sell? This combines two common scenarios. One, someone wants someone else (you maybe) to create a tech design that is incredibly obscure and will take a lot of research to produce. (For one thing you'll need to acquire orangutans and wild animal licenses just to do the product testing.) Two, the client is a non-profit organization that surely is going to argue that you should simply donate the product to them.

I D Shukhov

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Re: Tinder for Orangutans
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2017, 07:37:55 AM »
I'd just use an off the shelf solution:

1) tranquilize the orangutan
2) while they're out put them in straitjacket, tie them up and put a pair of Occulus Rift VR goggles on them
3) when they come to show them the images and monitor their reactions
4) use the male they seem to be the most interested in

Be Prepared.

Code Refugee

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Re: Tinder for Orangutans
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2017, 01:30:50 PM »
I like your solution a lot!

David Randolph

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Re: Tinder for Orangutans
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2017, 06:32:40 AM »
And it ignores the basic facts about Orangutans:

In the wild, most Orangutan mating most closely matches human rape: the males are much larger and stronger and most often, force their way on the females. Here, they are looking to see if the females want that? Of course, the tablets are destroyed.

Code Refugee

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Re: Tinder for Orangutans
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2017, 07:53:32 AM »
Interesting angle that the females are innocent rape victims and are raging on the photos rather than simply being too strong to handle or know what to do with delicate electronics other than see if anything happens when they bang it against a rock.

Roosters also rape hens.

Likewise for all animals, consent is never given. And yet, it's not really true though is it that they don't like being raped? Do we see them depressed about it? Running away from their rapists? Filing reports with the authorities? No.

So humans are the unnatural ones given that humans don't normally rape. Rape is the correct natural way. No wonder society is so screwed up. Everyone is unhappy. Women have a need to be dominated. Men have a need to dominate and evolution needs dominant men. Failure to acknowledge, respect and celebrate these basic biological realities results in widespread dissatisfaction, depression and psychological problems.

I D Shukhov

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Re: Tinder for Orangutans
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2017, 08:33:20 AM »
I hope to god no sadist zookeepers are reading this thread.  I know the board is supposed to be for IT types and not zookeepers, but there might be some career crossover with IT managers.

Please!  Don't try my VR headset idea on the orangutans now that I know what's really going on with their mating.

Be Prepared.

datagirl

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Re: Tinder for Orangutans
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2017, 09:48:39 AM »
Quote
Women have a need to be dominated.

Sorry.  I just have to challenge this comment.  Women need security.  Many women find themselves with dominant men as a result.  There is a difference.  There are lots of women who take the dominant role.  Also, please do not normalize rape.  It is a form of violence, not for sex or procreation.  It is never fun for the victim (which is part of the point).  Just speaking as a human female.  Don't know how the orangutans feel about it.


Code Refugee

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Re: Tinder for Orangutans
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2017, 01:24:43 PM »
Sorry, it was meant to be a sarcastic reply. He was judging animal behavior according to human standards, I presume jokingly, so returning the joke, I then laid out what it would be on the flip side, judging human behavior according to animal standards.

datagirl

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Re: Tinder for Orangutans
« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2017, 03:56:09 PM »
Okay, that's cool.  It just hit me wrong when I read it.  I know this is supposed to be the "funny" forum.  :-\

David Randolph

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Re: Tinder for Orangutans
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2017, 06:52:41 AM »
My first reaction was based on simply seeing one documentary on them.
http://pin.primate.wisc.edu/factsheets/entry/orangutan/behav from the National Primate Research Center states that there are two male mating strategies: The dominant males simply defend a territory and the females come to them. The younger males do not have a territory. They wander till they find a female in estrus and force copulation. Females may seek out the dominant male to get him to get that youngster away. There is a physical difference between dominant males and the others - flanged face.

But, any large primate has such upper arm strength that one would need to design electronics that have to withstand forces similar to being fired from a gun or sent into space to survive what the primates could do to them.