Carrie,
Excellent points!
I'm going to lean on what I picked up in the Peace Corps once again.
When the company gets involved in creating the ice cream social or rearranging the cubicle, they are taking on the role of "agent of cultural change". A lot of people who take on this role do so with little, if any, understanding of the culture they are trying to change, or of the desired culture that they are trying to create. When they lack this understanding, things are almost guaranteed to go wrong.
Part of the trouble, especially for analytic types like most of us is that the courses that teach about culture, group psychology, interpersonal relationships, sensitivity and things like that all have the look and feel of touchy-feely let's sit down and sing kumbaya subject matter that lacks any real substance. We want things to be concrete and objective. That's what we like about computing. I include myself in this.
There is actually some meat in this subject matter, but it's lot more amorphous than how to code in java. And it's often taught wrong.
When it comes to the "company urged exercise break", I remember how I reacted when I first saw Japanese companies doing this. "How paternalistic", I thought. "I could never adapt to an employer like this." But the thing is, Japanese culture is much less averse to paternalism than I am.