Negotiations in 2 hours with CIO...

[ITWhore]

     

[ResortDBA]

Yes, and now I am having to drag her ass to court to get her to sign the waiver to have my child get some post-divorce counseling.  She ignored the letter from my attorney for 2 weeks, judge will sign, dont need her signature or mediation or even a hearing.  So I hand her a printed version and I hand her a brand new email for her to correspond with and she again becomes volcanic.

What a kook, she reads nothing about helping your child thru divorce, good thing I see my child 5 days a week.

Bring on August, then it drops to 3k, oh and I am offering to pay for the counseling, I am out of funds, dead broke at this point but I will just take on the debt.  My child is worth it.

[codger]

Have you considered moving away from your ex in August? I realize that it might be difficult, but in the long run, it sounds as if it would be better for your child.

Your ex can undo any amount of positive therapy benefits in a remarkebly short amount of time. There is also the possibility of the therapist siding with your ex, against you. Be careful.

[ResortDBA]

Yes I have mixed feelings about forcing this thing.  Could blow up in my face and I am out of funds anyway, new deck is going on debt.

They crawled up my arse on the intake forms yesterday.  Kids coming in there were pretty f'ed up. My kid is doing pretty well, even the neighbor stutters, I was beginning to think all kids have something wrong with them.

Teacher and school counselor both thought I was not making a mountain out of a mole hill, thought she could use some counseling.

[codger]

It is is any counselor's/thearpist's interest to find "something wrong". A therapy session, of any office call can be viewed as a sales call. I have relatives in medicine, and can see the mercenary of their business.

What sort of counseling are you considering? What are the credentials of the person doing the counseling? Who recommended them? Are you comfortable with the possibility of dramaticallychanging your child's future (fir the better or worse) based on their recommendations?

Don't take it too lightly.

I had a stepdaughter who was very bright, but once she began attending school, she was having great difficulty with reading. We were told not to be too concerned. After a full year of frustration (my daughter and parents too) had passed, we moved her to another school where her teacher correctly noted that our child might have dyslexia. We had her evaluated, and she did indeed have a mild form of dyslexia, which the teacher was able to work with. Bottom line: She moved to the head of her class. Thanks to an observant teacher and a skilled child psychologist. The cost to us? Zero. All handled within the school system. I shudder to think how easily we could've been steered into costly, dangerous (mental and physical) "theraputic" methods and treatments.

Be skeptical, but be closely involved.

[John Masterson]

codger,

Excellent advice and insights.

There are counselors with great intentions but little ability and insight. Finding a good counselor (one that gets results)  is work.

That means doing research on your own so you can evaluate a counselor on more than her/his friendly manner.

ResortDBA, good luck in whatever you end up doing on this.

[David Cressey]

Quote:There are counselors with great intentions but little ability and insight. Finding a good counselor (one that gets results) is work.

The same is true of computer consultants,  or anyone else who sells advice for a living.

[codger]

Quote:The same is true of computer consultants, or anyone else who sells advice for a living.

<Your brush is a bit broad.>

Yes, but IT consultants haven't been elevated to the expectation of Godlike infallability, as have most professions even remotely linked to medical. Nobody really entrusts an IT consultant with decisions that can kill or cripple the body or mind of the ill, injured and innocent. How many doctors and counselors are used for staff augmentation work?

As we are reminded constantly, we're not really professionals. There's no expectation that our advice is absolute. When was the last time any of us were brought in and paid to offer a second opinion?  

"Real" IT consulting is almost nonexistent nowadays.

[David Cressey]

Quote:Yes, but IT consultants haven't been elevated to the expectation of Godlike infallability, as have most professions even remotely linked to medical. Nobody really entrusts an IT consultant with decisions that can kill or cripple the body or mind of the ill, injured and innocent. How many doctors and counselors are used for staff augmentation work?

Not true as recently as 20 years ago.

Quote:As we are reminded constantly, we're not really professionals. There's no expectation that our advice is absolute. When was the last time any of us were brought in and paid to offer a second opinion?

For me,  circa 1997.

Quote:"Real" IT consulting is almost nonexistent nowadays.

It was always very rare.

[codger]

Quote:Quote:
"Yes, but IT consultants haven't been elevated to the expectation of Godlike infallability, as have most professions even remotely linked to medical. Nobody really entrusts an IT consultant with decisions that can kill or cripple the body or mind of the ill, injured and innocent. How many doctors and counselors are used for staff augmentation work?"


Not true as recently as 20 years ago.

Why is this not true? Please expand on this.

[David Cressey]

If "IT Consultant" is just jargon for staff aug,  then it is true.  

But if "IT Consultant" means someone who is called in for advice on the strategic direction of the enterprise IT plan, then it's not true.  

Some years ago,  there were maybe a thousand such people in the IT field.  There are still some such people, maybe about a thousand of them.  They are professionals,  and for the most part, they get treated like professionals.  They don't get hired through agencies,  they don't work for one client at a time, and they don't become fixtures at the client site.  

And their deliverable is advice, not code.

And, yes, lives do depend on the value of their advice.

Real consultants make themselves expendable.  The client doesn't have to hire some chain-saw project manager to make them expendable.

[ResortDBA]

OK, 11 mos pay after 1 year of additional service.  Just got the fed-ex to sign today.

We had them drop the severance and make it all a 'stay bonus'.   We also got them to drop *any* contingencies such as buyer/seller offering us employment after the 1 year transaction ends.

Boss man sent me home early today...this is going to be 2 nice summers in a row, could go thru August 2008.

Mommy is out talking to counselors, someone must have explained the Judge over-ruling mommy objecting to counseling.   Still in-play and very complex.

Deck open to southern openspace is underway, permit, dig markings, ledgering.

Now what to do about the girlfriend I was crazy about just 2 weeks ago.....no time for one now.

[ResortDBA]

The rest of the office knows they are getting terminated this week, final wave 3 of the layoff rounds.  This one is directly the result of the sale.  People have quietly told me 3 people get to remain and I try to not reveal that I know anything.  Some of these people I consider good friends.  Most have put in more hours on-site in the office than me and I think it will be confusing enough when they find out post-exit.